Black Girl Pain

Prop2
“My mama said life would be so hard
Growin up days as a black girl scarred
In so many ways though we've come so far
They just know the name they don't know the pain
So please hold your heads up high
Don't be ashamed of yourself know I
Will carry it forth til the day I die
They just know the name they don't know the pain Black Girl.”
“Black Girl Pain”- Talib Kweli feat. Jean Grae

The wonderful women of Spelman College along with their brothers from Morehouse College, in Atlanta attempted to reclaim and redefine the image of Black women a little over a year ago. Some students opposed Nelly performing at their homecoming because of a boarder line X-rated Tip drill video. Well, that fell apart. Word circulated the majority of Nelly’s proceeds go to bone marrow research and treatment; all for his older sister, who unfortunately lost her battle with leukemia early 2005. Just to kick some dirt in their faces, Ludacris performed regardless of his X-rated video, P**** Poppin. Oops.

Despite his intentions, these students wanted Nelly to take responsibility for his video, I say, how about we go after the women in the video. Black Women, what the hell are you doing?? Ask any rapper today about his videos and the portrayal of Black Women and they brush it off, these women are hired to do this job, they’re in “this” kind of business ramble, ramble, mumble, mumble. The average to extraordinary Black women instead of defending these women, attack and berate them worse than guys. To justify their beliefs, these same women say, “That isn’t me.” Really, since when did you annex yourself from the rest of the Black community? No matter how many of you believe this does not concern you, the texture of your hair, the color of your skin doesn’t come off when you walk out the door or go to bed. To be very honest, the only people you (Black women) can turn to today is each other. Black men, some of us love you and will ride with you, however, have decided to explore our options; and we’re doing just fine. You should do the same. Ah, but what happens when a Black women walks hand and hand with whitey or anyone else? You know the whole Jezebel/Sapphire thing. So you are on one side of the track, or you are on the other; that is what a lot of women believe. News flash, the world sees you, sees all of us, as one. Start checking yourselves. Start with what you’re putting into your mind.

First Viacom, you know it as BET and MTV. Viacom never had the interests of Black Women, Black People, at heart. The Negro channel, already going down hill, hit rock bottom when Robert Johnson sold it. BET late and BET Uncut, we know them very well. That is where we discovered the definition of Tip Drill; it’s not the first video and won’t be the last. However, during the era of 2 Live Crew and NWA; Queen Latifah, Salt & Pepa, MC Lyte, Monie Love, and others female MCs countered those other images. There was no divide between the image opposition and the image, one in the same, a rare time to see, although not in abundance, sisterly love and support. Does any one remember U.N.I.T.Y? Nowadays, a Black woman can’t buy a compliment from another Black woman without some disdain. If you’re not upset by the how you see yourself displayed in television, you’re upset because you don’t look like what you see on television. You are witness to a very limited representation of Black women. But how do you know unless you discover on your own, which brings me to reading selections.

Second Zane and all those other books people waste valuable time and brainpower reading, i.e. anything by Teri Woods, E Lynn Harris, and all those other hood authors. I feel like I’m wasting precious text just writing this much. I can hear the rants now, “They are writing about things we know about,” “It’s just entertainment, no one wants to learn all the time.” Well, if you took everything as learning experience, that would negate some of the nonsense that life throws at you, but I digress. My question is, how many times can you read about the same story: 1)woman falls in love, man cheats on her, woman goes through hell, she gets even, she lives happily ever after. Or, 2) woman falls in love, discovers man is gay, woman goes through hell, woman recuperates. 3) Or, woman is addicted to sex, woman experiments with sex, man calls woman slut, woman goes through hell, woman prevails, etc, see any pattern? The third scenario brings me to another point:

Little Kim, Beyonce, Melyssa Ford, Halley Barry, Esther Baxter, and other center pieces of the male fantasy believe they have taken control of their image/sexuality; some women follow the same ideology. Question, are you looking at yourself through your lens or through the lens of some else. Thus is the enigma Black women face today. Is this my image or am I living something arranged before I got here? That may be a little farfetched, however, consider women’s clothing, especially Black women’s clothing. The clothes are not really intended for you and not designed by you; they’re designed for the fantasy that some random male (and sometimes female) will have about you as they watch you walk down the street. I ask, exactly how are these women taking control of their sexuality? Some respond, they doing what guys do, being overtly sexual, accepting the role as sexual object and using it to their advantage; or, they have taken words like bitch and added a positive spin to them. Well, to the first response, you can’t do what a guy does and still be a lady. The second, I won’t touch, it is just as ridiculous as the word nigger having some redeeming quality. It’s so funny. In spite of all that is against you, regardless of you career path you always hold your head High. Possibly, you are aware of what came before you; however, it is time all of you were reminded.

You know the names(and if you don’t look them up!), Hattie McDaniel, Josephine Baker, Sarah Bartmann, Betty Shabazz, Pam Grier, Angela Davis, Assata Shakur etc; do you know their struggle? It is 2006, is the video chick or the wife of (insert name of sports/music celebrity) all your worth? Individually, some of you will scream no, but when did you separate yourself from the rest of the Black community?