The NBA Dress Code

Prop 1 (originally posted November 2)

Yes. The NBA dress code is racist. I said THE NBA DRESS CODE IS RACIST. But wait. Who's the racist? The league? The owners? The commissioner? No it's the white fans. Not all fans of course or even any. It's just the league playing to their perceived, almost inherent racist potential. Let's think out loud for a second.

What about a dress code for baseball, NASCAR, or golf? No. Not needed you say. But the NBA needs it. I guess it's the same way that a white guy, country or not, rocking a confederate flag is a racist. Hmmmm. "No. He's just repping his southern pride and you're a PC (politically correct) Nazi." Diamonds are forever except when they adorn the neck of a BlackMan. Then it becomes thug-wear. And when did gaudy jewelry, corn-rows, and expensive cars become "thug"? The thugs were a group in India who terrorized the Indian country-side many, many years ago. Thugs are criminals. Now it's a Rap thing. How did that happen? Oh that's right. Tupac made it so. Thanks Pac. Back to the "flag", but notice how the rednecking of America is cool. NASCAR, Larry the cable guy, Wal-Mart, Fox News, country music, the Bible-belt and that whole "fly over state's revenge" mentality. And yet the Klan hasn't made it on the terror watch list. How come I'm not surprised.

So to address societies ills and inequities DeeStern implements a dress code. Ain't that some sugarhoneyicedtea! Maybe it's because he's jewish. And being jewish he's senistive to perception. Dress the part, act the part and if that doesn't work be the part. But that will never work for us, though some have and continue to try, nor will it work for them, if they only knew. It's a strange relationship Blacks and jews. They see us, and our racial struggles, in them. So they become our advocates and in some sense help themselves. And similarly we see us in them. However, the two have never been further apart. Afterall, they have bigger fish to fry in the middle east and we have come to resent their abandonment and see them as fair weather friends, who have eaten and gotten fat on our shine. Either way. There's DeeStern left to the unenviable task of playing middle man between Black and white. DeeStern with that patrician air, reigning supreme over an almost all-Black league, and hasn't he earned it. Remember the Niggerbockers? Now, the NBA has gone international and two years in the league gets a player the league minimum for life. What's that, a mill? And for those of us who work that's crazy! Don't you just seeeee the hate coming? Can't you feel it? And who funds this league prosperity by paying ridiculously high ticket prices? Fans. And they're mostly white. Over 80 percent. The inverse of the league population break down. Funny, I never noticed that before. And the consumer has rights. Especially this consumer, who can have NetFlix delivered to his home, watch porn on the internet, play PS-3 and XBox360, and wait to Hi-Def is a reality, then it's a wrap! And this consumer is empowered like none before. So this consumer demands the right to perception. And haven't they earned that right? The right to white-flight, the right to FoxNews, to Bush and the boys, and the right to white return (see Harlem, Brooklyn, DC). Afterall, haven't we as Black people, with a little help from media, given them those rights, along with monthly bills to LoJack and Brinks. They listen while their kids sing the lyrics to Lil Kim and 50Cent, and they think twice just like we do. And they see urban schools and crime just like we do. And while they saw Katrina, and perhaps were sickened by what they saw. They're also like. "Look. I'm just a fan."

NFL players wear helmets and only the blind, deaf and dumb deny the Blackness of the NBA. And with this Blackness comes the good and the bad, but all of it is beautiful. So in the end, DeeStern threw them a bone and everyone can make believe it's not 2005. Just like those elections in Iraq. Fantasy is Reality. But beware this conservative path and consider deeply the words of Thomas Jefferson when he said "If there is a God... one day we're going to pay for this." And on that day, there are no more fans, because everybody plays.

But of course there's a silver lining.
I was checking Mr. Tony (Kornheiser) the other day on 980, and he made an excellent point. He was like this dress code could be a boon for the league. NBA-players are fashion plates and define cool, so Armani, Ralph and the boys would pay top-dollar to have players rock their wares. I could see it now.

Reporter: Shaq, great game. By the way what are you wearing?
The Big Fashionista: Suit by Armani. Watch by Gucci.
Reporter: And those shoes?
TBF: Freshly copped at Harrods.

Gettin' Money!